I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
