worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
