dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
