I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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