would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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