You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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