Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
