It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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