Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
