spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
