I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
