Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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