i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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