Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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