Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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