it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
