i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
