I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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