he thought i was a dude.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
