My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
