No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
