I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
