I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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