This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
