This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
