Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
