Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
