my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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