dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
