I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
