What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
