Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
