Can Purell be used as lube?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
