I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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