god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
