The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
