How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
