She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
