smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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