why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
