this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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