So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
