i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
