SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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