I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
