Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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