wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
