Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
