..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
well you can't waste a boner
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
