Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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