are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
