Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Damn victory sex feels great
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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