We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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