Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize