dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
